Jason Altidor - Web Designer - My Blog
MAR
26
2009

Interesting Facts That Will Surprise

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that. lol)

Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too. lol)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

NOTE: Facts were taken from an old email of mine, that's all for now!

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MAR
02
2009

Bull**** and Brilliance

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some
bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the
bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to
leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard!
I wonder if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of
terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the
leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another
leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with old farts .. age and treachery will always overcome youth
and skill! Bull**** and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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The Author - Jason Altidor

Hello, I'm Jason Altidor and I build websites, like a handy man with his hammer and wrench [...] languages spoken? Primarily english and french [...] Unique. Simple. Divined [...] Discliplined, like soldiers marching in-line [...] Family of 6 siblings, born n' raised in the beautiful island of Montreal [...] Half Bajan, half Haitian standing five feet, ten inches tall.

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